with every new day, is either a new struggle or a new achievement.
I thought that I had been doing quite well eating and mood wise. Yes, I still have depression and eating disorder behaviours, but I thought that I had been behaving better with it all. I was happier at home and being nicer to my boyfriend. Nothing quite ruins this mood like seeing your boufriend’s message list.. and seeing that he has recently spoken to another girl. Now I know I probably shouldn’t have jumped the gun so quickly but what else was I meant to do? Extreme concern and jealousy waved over me so I had to find out more. I am not proud that I went onto his private messages and had a look.. I don’t know what I was looking at really. He had sent her some pictures (which wouldn’t show up) that had reminded him of themselves ‘back in the day’ and a few comments later. I proceeded to ‘stalk’ her Facebook and couldn’t believe it.. how stunning she is. I HATED my boyfriend. I felt sick and wanted to cry. We have spoken about it a little.. he’s ‘reassured’ me that she was his best friend from school when he lived I. Wales. I just still can’t shake this feeling of jealousy and hate and despair that he may be up to things.. I felt like cutting last night.