so I feel as though I have really neglected my blog recently. Truth is, I have had little to no enthusiasm to write down how I’m feeling/getting on etc. Instead, I thought perhaps I would give an overview of my illness/feelings towards myself etc. in A – Z form (I have thought about making a scrapbook like this too)
A ~ anorexia. annoyed. ana. alone. angry. ashamed. anxiety. achy. anti-depressants.
B ~ bulimia. body conscious. behaviour. breathing. bony. blood tests. blood pressure. bullied. BMI. boyfriend. binge.
C ~ cravings. crap at a lot of things. cake. confidence. crying. control. chunky thighs. cold. clothes. collar bones. cutting. calories. carbs.
D ~ depression. diet. die. dry skin. different. distancing. doctors. down.
E ~ EDNOS. eating disorder. eating a lot of cereal. eating too much. eating incorrectly. emotional. early nights. early mornings. Elliot (boyfriend) exercise. emotionless. embarrassing food habits.
F ~ fat. frustrated. food. fasting. fatigue. face. fuuuccckkk. fingers. fit. fainting.
G ~ gaining weight. gigantic thighs. gross. grams (g). gym.
H ~ hiding. hungry. hiding food. hair falling out. healthy. health. headaches. herbal remedies.
I ~ in pain. inappropriate behaviour/attitude. in love. ‘I am..’
J ~ joking. jelly thighs. jelly belly. jogging. jealous.
K ~ killing my body. Kitkat chunky. kilograms (kg).
L ~ laxatives. lying. lingerie. late nights. low self-esteem. love.
M ~ mental health clinics. money wasting. mind. my decision. mental health. mental illness. mia. measurements. medical.
N ~ nausea. no food. NO!! nightmares. numb.
O ~ obedience. omnivore. overweight. overdose.
P ~ purge. podgy. pale skin tone. poorly. pain. painful tummy. pricey habits. pro-ana. pro-mia. panic attacks.
Q ~ questions. quiet.
R ~ ribs. rapid heartrate.
S ~ scales. skinny. sick. sleepy. spots. suicide. Sertraline. skinnytea. slim. size 4-6 (UK sizes) but I’m an 8. stupid. skin. scared. scars. self-harm. sad.
T ~ tired. treatment. thin. thinspo. therapy.
U ~ underweight. ugly. unworthy. undeserving. upset.
V ~ very confused.
W ~ weight. weighing. work. worrying. wrong thinking.
X ~ x-amount of laxatives.
Y ~ yelling. yawning.
Z ~ zero food. zero care. zero calories.
I think that is me pushed into the night. I am supposed to be getting more sleep over my four-day Easter break but I’m not doing so well. And speaking of Easter.. that’ll be left for another time.