you called me fat. you called me ugly. you made me feel guilty if I didn’t sleep with you. you wouldn’t let me use protection. you led me on. you made me feel small. you made me feel worthless. you made me feel unworthy. you pushed me. you followed me home. you caught me in the school corridors and anywhere else you could. you laughed at me. you made me feel insecure. you bullied me. you pressured me. you ruined me.
Whether it was middle, high school or college, my past relationships or just general public.. somewhere through these encounters, these people have made me feel like the above at some point in my life. These memories and feelings don’t just disappear from my mind just because they have disappeared from theirs.
this is why I have my current, debilitating problems today. this is why I am numb and why I cry as I remember the abuse I have been through and can’t shake from my mind.