a new level of shame.. how ED has hit me harder.

firstly, I’m sorry if the picture applied upsets or offends anyone. I feel that I have hit a new low – I need help. I need someone who knows this. image

I’ve put on so much weight due to eating, purging and abusing laxatives. It’s given my body a reason to work again and I’m not getting rid of the food as well as I’d like. This has brought on some hard emotions. I have been crying so much because of the guilt and shame I am feeling.

As my goal weight seems further away, the number of kg to lose increases. I have decided that per day of consumption (even with purging and laxatives) will be an extra lbs to lose which will soon turn into kg.

I have done this awful thing to myself. Not as a way out.. but as a reminder. That I need to lose weight. I am fat. I am ugly. I am worthless.

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