I’ve put on so much weight due to eating, purging and abusing laxatives. It’s given my body a reason to work again and I’m not getting rid of the food as well as I’d like. This has brought on some hard emotions. I have been crying so much because of the guilt and shame I am feeling.
As my goal weight seems further away, the number of kg to lose increases. I have decided that per day of consumption (even with purging and laxatives) will be an extra lbs to lose which will soon turn into kg.
I have done this awful thing to myself. Not as a way out.. but as a reminder. That I need to lose weight. I am fat. I am ugly. I am worthless.