coping?

I’m so frustrated with my home life right now. My ED and depression are not being supported. I don’t feel comfortable enough in my own home anymore.

Mum has began drinking again, so this puts me on edge anyway as I end up working myself even harder to keep on top of everything. She’s  so non-understanding.. she’s will bring up something that I’ve not even noticed I’m doing, or constantly question my ‘weird’ behaviour around food etc. which makes me paranoid that it’s visible to everyone around me.

This week I have been so on edge. I can’t settle and I can feel my heart racing constantly because I’m so stressed. My period has come two weeks early, and due to being on the contraceptive pill, that has never happened before.

Also, due to the recent binge and the unsuccessful purging, I have now turned to laxatives. I never thought I would get into laxative abuse but I feel comforted by it’s effects, which just sounds silly. Plus, I’ve still been having thoughts about cutting which I really don’t want to get into.

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