1.30am.. 2.30am..

as I lay here wide awake and trying to block out the stomping of my angry, alcoholic mum who is trying to find the vodka my step-dad hid – I figured; instead of letting this trigger me into doing something stupid with my body, I will look through my photos and pick out five that make me happy.

so..

March this year, my two best friends from college and I went to see one of our favourite comedians, Russell Howard!! no signs of my ED had even begun yet. I was still grieving a little from the loss of my step-grandad however.

March this year, my two best friends from college and I went to see one of our favourite comedians, Russell Howard!! no signs of my ED had even begun yet. I was still grieving a little from the loss of my step-grandad however.

this is me with my grandparents (from my dad's side) in the New Forest, early this May. I was feeling a bit low at this point, but my depression or ED hadn't shown itself yet.

this is me with my grandparents (from my dad’s side) in the New Forest, early this May. I was feeling a bit low at this point, but my depression or ED hadn’t shown itself yet.

September ~ clubbing with my best friend (of 15 years) for her 20th. no sign of ED really, but something was up.

September ~ clubbing with my best friend (of 15 years) for her 20th. no sign of ED really, but something was up.

mid-October we visited my grandparents (from my mum's side) for my Nana's birthday. It was lovely to see them, and nice to have an up-to-date picture of myself with them and my brother.

mid-October we visited my grandparents (from my mum’s side) for my Nana’s birthday. It was lovely to see them, and nice to have an up-to-date picture of myself with them and my brother. I felt a bit rocky since September time, but nothing had started affecting me too suddenly.

December ~ this is me, now. Given its a horrible picture of me, I actually love it because it's of myself and my boyfriend. He met my grandparents this month and it was so lovely to see how well they got on. They all really like him. During this time, was when And am currently struggling with everything. I love that I have my boyfriend for support. He's so amazing to me and I love him for that.

December ~ this is me, now. Given its a horrible picture of me, I actually love it because it’s of myself and my boyfriend. He met my grandparents this month and it was so lovely to see how well they got on. They all really like him. During this time, was when and am currently struggling with everything. I love that I have my boyfriend for support. He’s so amazing to me and I love him for that.

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