EDs are not a choice

Unfortunately, I have spent this Christmas and Boxing Day going through my bad spout of depression, which brought on worse feelings about my eating/ED.

I wasn’t too sure what or if I was going to blog today, but something happened which I felt should be shared.

Many people do not understand mental health illnesses/issues. We’re only human, so we’ve not been prepared to have them or know someone with them. It’s just in our bones to be as understanding as possible towards someone. some more than others, it seems. 

My step-dad was having a strop about how Christmas has been a bit different this year. Due to his dad sadly passing away this year and obviously ‘me’, he felt like today would be a good day to have a good ol’ moan about it.

Given the fact mum isn’t very understanding either, she did her best to stick up for me (I was in the lounge at this point, ‘pretending’ I couldn’t hear) and it wasn’t until I heard V say ‘she’s just a good, little actor’ that really disappointed me.

Lemme just say.. depression, anxiety, eating disorders.. any form of mental health illnesses are not a choice. It’s not as though I choose to starve myself, put my mind and body through constant torment. I’ve been ‘asleep’ for over 6 hours now. Just hiding away and avoiding any human contact.

The only ‘acting’ I wish I could do, was hiding all of this.

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